I always joke about my college story but never actually sit down to really tell it. One reason is that I am easily distracted, but the other is how uncomfortable the idea of uncertainty makes me. I have gone through my entire life bouncing from one thing to the next but never really feeling secure enough to be confident.

My college story begins where it ends: in the unpredictability.

I was the last child born to a pair of Vietnam War refugees. Our family was brought over to Greenwich, Connecticut by a church sponsor just after the war. Sure, we were brought to one of the wealthiest areas in the US, but we definitely did not fit that mold. My father never had more than a mid-high school education and my mother only experienced elementary school. They worked for years as assembly line workers, doing their best to try and make a stable life for our family. Growing up, I only saw my parents from 7PM to 10PM, as they left the house before I woke up and returned home from work hours after I got home from school.

My parents started with literally nothing and worked their way up, essentially becoming a picture of the American Dream. That was true, until a recession in 2001 hit and everything was lost again. I watched my parents, who always worked so hard, see their work just evaporate to nothing. We had to move, selling the house my mother held onto so dearly. My parents continue to work minimum wage positions, even today as they approach their mid-60s. As they worked longer hours, the one memory that stands out in my mind is having a late dinner as a family every night and constantly being told to do well in school.

As a kid, I never understood what “doing well in school” meant. Going to school was expected of me and “doing well” never really felt hard. Aside from my struggle with ADD and executive dysfunction, I was a good student. I scored relatively high in my classes and was active in a few clubs. I will tell you a secret though: I was incredibly lazy with courses I had no interest in. I hated the idea of being tested on things that I was not engaged by. Most of the time, I did everything at the very last minute. Looking back, I could have done so much better had I really committed my time and energy — but I don’t regret it. I would not be who I am or where I am today if I didn’t make the choices I felt were right at the time.

I honestly didn’t know where I would end up for undergrad. I applied to schools my friends were attending or recommended. I visited a couple schools, most of which I didn’t even apply to. I settled on Syracuse University, five hours away from home in upstate New York. I chose it for its diversity and for allowing me to be far enough from home to be independent, but close enough that my parents wouldn’t worry. College acceptance wasn’t the end of the struggle, however.

When I arrived at school, I tried to coast like I did in high school. My first semester was a disaster. I failed math and got low C’s in other courses that I should have been having no problem with. The combination of extremely dreary dark weather, believing my high school habits would be fine, and my overall lack of motivation threw me into a really dark corner. Being put on academic probation was a huge wake up call. Deep inside I was terrified. I worked so hard to get into college, how was it that I could be so easily thrown out? What would it mean for my life if I didn’t stay in school? What about my family’s life?

A college mentor told me that I had two choices: I could continue in my low-effort attempts, possibly get kicked out, and throw away all the hard work me and my family did to get me here, or I could shape up and use the opportunity I had to succeed and do better for myself and those before me.

I can’t say it was easy or that I became instantly productive, but I did start seeing things in perspective. I started getting assignments done, picking courses that fulfilled general requirements, and tried to get more involved with the campus life around me. My grades steadily rose, and while I still felt like I had no clue what I was doing in life, I knew I was at least doing what I was supposed to be doing academically.

It was really in my extracurriculars where I thrived. By my junior year I was on two executive board committees of student organizations while also being involved with a few councils for campus activities. I loved programming and event coordination. I was inspired by all of my fellow students who found community and belonging in our groups. It was during my first position in freshman year that I realized I wanted to foster that feeling, but I had no idea how to do so. Floating again in uncertainty, I wracked my brain trying to figure out how to capture that feeling and make it my career. It wasn’t for a full two years that I found my answer in my mentor.

Dr. Kim Williams, my mentor, was my student organization advisor and worked with me for three years. She saw every success and failure I encountered, developing me into a strong student and person. Kim recognized my passion as a student leader and introduced me to the world of student affairs. She helped me learn that I could create a sense of community and belonging as part of my career. I realized that the administrators and staff I was working with as a student leader doing this as part of their jobs already. Knowing I was close to graduation, she encouraged me to apply to graduate education programs.

I got to and through college with the continual support from the people around me.

I was often terrified at the prospect of not knowing, without realizing that not knowing is just as exciting as it is scary. I can’t say that things magically got better once I completed grad school, but I eventually made it to a job I love and a place in my career where I can spread that feeling of belonging and community. My uncertainty was scary, for sure, but the results of my pursuits were all the more rewarding. I no longer see uncertainty as something to be feared, instead, it’s something I embrace wholeheartedly.

Timothy Huynh grew up in Connecticut as the son of Vietnamese refugees. He is a first generation college student, graduating from Syracuse University with a Bachelor’s of Arts in Psychology and a minor in Asian/Asian American studies. His passion for working with college students grew from experiences in student leadership and advocating for underrepresented populations on campus. While attending the University of Southern California for his Master’s in Student Affairs, he worked with multiple mentoring programs for queer and first generation students. Timothy is excited to contribute his passion for providing access and equity to ScholarMatch. When he’s not meeting with students, you can find Timothy baking up something sweet in the kitchen, playing video games, or hunting for the next great spot to eat with his two dogs Sonny and Otto in tow.

#MyCollegeStory is a ScholarMatch original series highlighting the diverse and varied journeys to and through higher education. Check back each month for new stories!

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