Would you believe me if I told you that my absolute favorite class in college was the class where I received my first and only F? Her name was Biology 1B, and she will forever go down in history as the class that ruined my college transcript. But I absolutely loved her for it.

Don’t get me wrong — I was absolutely mortified when I realized I wasn’t going to pass this class, especially because it was one of my major requirements for my so-called path to medical school. But failing Bio 1B was also probably one of the best things that ever happened to me in college, because it reinforced the belief that I did not want to pursue a career as a doctor.

I was born and raised in Eastside San Jose, one of the lower-income communities in the South Bay. Growing up, I had always stood on the shoulders of giants, carrying with me wherever I went the sacrifices my family made to give me a better life. My dad grew up in a refugee camp in Thailand, and after escaping the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia he and my grandparents sought refuge in the US, crisscrossing the country until finally settling in California. My mom and her parents migrated to the States from the provinces of the Philippines. Despite being educated back in their home country, my maternal grandparents worked minimum-wage jobs for multiple decades in order to support our family. My dad also left the picture after my younger sister was born. Despite being a teen parent, my mom didn’t let anything faze her: she worked multiple jobs to put food on the table, went to vocational school to get a better job, and completely defied the odds to ensure that my sister and I could have the world. She is, to this day, the biggest giant in my life.

Which is why, going into college, I felt mounting pressure to make my family proud and to pursue a career that would allow me to support them. I thought success came in the form of either being a doctor or a lawyer (hence my short-lived path to medical school and my even shorter-lived interest in applying to Berkeley Law). Working in medicine, to me, was the perfect bridge between helping others and making my family happy — what I didn’t realize was how much studying the sciences made me unhappy. Cue my girl Bio 1B.

As cheesy as it may sound, #mycollegestory was about finding myself. After ditching Bio, I changed my major more times than I change outfits in the morning. It wasn’t until the end of my sophomore year when I found Social Welfare that I was exposed to a form of “helping others” that I was really and truly passionate about. Social Welfare introduced me to the collective impact of activism and community organizing, of not being afraid to utilize my voice and advocate for my community. I was an active voice on campus that pushed the university to better support other first generation college students; I campaigned and advocated for university contract workers who were receiving less than the minimum wage; I protested for Black Lives and against tuition hikes that disproportionately targeted low-income students. My time at Berkeley taught me to not be afraid to stand up against the injustices that I witnessed — and hey, did you really go to Berkeley if you didn’t protest for or against something?

My time in college not only helped me realize where my passions lie, but also assisted in the formation of my self-identity and how I became more comfortable with who I am as a person overall. Growing up, I had a very minimal understanding of what it meant to be Filipino (let alone a multi-racial person), aside from the fact that adobo was a survival staple and that my family was horrifyingly addicted to Magic Mic karaoke. Being at Cal exposed me to the greater multicultural community, a hub of students dedicated to sharing the rich cultures and histories of their respective communities. I spent my entire four years in college immersing myself in the Filipino community while also strengthening my ability to speak and understand Khmer. College provided me with a space for me to celebrate my identities and to become closer with my cultures in a way that was not previously accessible to me.

When I went to college, I did not go alone — I brought with me my family, a group of warriors who have fought endlessly to give me more than what they had. I am somewhere in between a worrier and a warrior, straddling the line between a frantic post-graduate who is still learning how to #adult and a College Advisor for students who are about to start the journey that I have just ended. Though I have finished #mycollegestory, I can continue being one of the giants in other people’s lives to not only help them shape their own college stories, but to discourage them from ever taking Biology 1B (just kidding!).

Nirvana Felix is a first-generation college student from Eastside San Jose who graduated from UC Berkeley in 2016 with a BA in Social Welfare. She is a College Advisor and Outreach Coordinator at ScholarMatch, where she supports both the high school and college teams.

#MyCollegeStory is a ScholarMatch original series highlighting the diverse and varied journeys to and through higher education. Check back each month for new stories!

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