When I applied to college I had no idea what I was doing. To be honest, UCLA and USC were the only two universities I vaguely knew anything about. One day my high school counselor, Dr. Radovcic (who always pushed me out of my comfort zone), asked me which universities I was applying to. The problem was, I had none in mind. In that very moment, Dr. Radovcic made a list of 4 UCs, 4 CSUs, and 1 Private School for me to apply to, and to my very own surprise I was admitted to 8 out of the 9. Not bad for someone who immigrated from Mexico to the U.S. at the age of 1 with the help of some coyotes, and who would be the very first in her huge family to go to college (I have 32 first cousins on just my mom’s side, so yes, a HUGE family! This was a pretty big deal).

My 18 year-old self was blessed to have had the opportunity to choose one of the eight universities to which she was admitted. Although I had very low SAT scores, how in the world did I get accepted to 4 UC’s & 4 CSU’s, you may ask? College admissions paid more attention to and valued my involvement in extracurricular activities. A score is important, yes — I don’t deny that — but it does NOT encompass who you really are as a person and in no way, shape, or form can it measure your character and determination to succeed.

Which brings me back to my high school counselor, Dr. Radovcic, who really saw the value of my own being and character. Dr. Radovcic, on her own time and budget, took Kenia up and down the Golden State of California to visit different universities. The campus visits helped identify where Kenia could see herself attending in the Fall of 2010.

Lo and behold, I ended up falling in love with UC Santa Barbara’s campus, perched on the edge of the Pacific Ocean and making me a double Gaucho (the Gaucho was also my high school mascot). The entire summer of 2010 all I could think about was moving out and going off to college. My excitement was through the roof and I even counted down the days, something my parents hated because they secretly didn’t want their only child moving out.

Certainly you have heard of the following quote: What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. My college story is pretty much a real life testimony of that quote. As a first-generation, underrepresented, undocumented Latina (18 year old me hadn’t discovered my Chicana identity yet), I faced troubling and persistent social disparities that, in many occasions, made me want to give up on my college education. This is exemplified by the following phone call I received before I even stepped foot on Santa Barbara’s campus:

“Hello we are calling from the University of California, Santa Barbara to inform you that the University is missing your Alien Card on your file and we also need record that you attended California Public Schools over the last ten years. Until you can provide these documents, you are required to pay out of state fees and we are going to retract all of your financial aid, grants, and eligibility for work study.”

*Side note: The word “alien” is VERY PROBLEMATIC on so many levels. I am not from outer space, and my skin isn’t green!

Here’s the truth: I was in the process of getting U.S. Citizenship and I did not have my Green Card at the moment, which was the one document UCSB was requesting. Green Cards get dispersed in quotas — that, and Immigration Services takes years to process its cases. Therefore, there wasn’t a customer service department that I could’ve called to request an expedited process on my green card. At that moment, I went from a $0 expected family contribution to having to pay out-of-pocket state fees — approximately $54K. This was one of the most heartbreaking, confusing, and dream crushing experiences I have ever went through. All I wanted was to go to school. I hadn’t even started yet and already was I confronted with such oppressive institutional walls.

I had fallen into a sinkhole and I didn’t know how to get out. This impacted both me and my parents. What do we do now? was a question we all asked. My parents saw how devastated I was and frantically reached out to our immigration lawyer and asked if he could write a letter of support to US Immigration Services on my behalf. The letter was sent, but the response never came.

In the Summer of 2010, I was accepted to participate in a summer residential program led by the Educational Opportunity Program (EOP) for incoming UCSB freshman students. Although things were uncertain due to my immigration status, I went anyways.

During the Summer Transitional Enrichment Program (STEP), I received an introduction to college-level courses, made lots of new friends, and had convinced myself that I did belong and did deserve to study at UCSB. My parents were trying to help me navigate this hard season, and more often than not they felt economically frustrated thinking about how they were going to pay for my unaffordable college tuition.

After proving my attendance in California Public Schools, I became an AB540 Student which allowed me to pay in-state tuition. There was a time during STEP that I was checking in with my mom and she told me the hard reality I was not expecting to hear: “Don’t fall in love with UCSB because you may not be there for long.” (Ouch. Sometimes remembering that one still hurts.)

The entire legal situation made me doubt my worth. All my hard work — my straight A’s, club leadership roles, community service, honor roll certificates, AP classes, community college courses, 4.0+ GPA — felt like it was not worth anything. At that point I considered going to a local community college because it would be more affordable, but a little voice in my head was always telling me, “You deserve to go to UCSB. You earned your seat!”

These were the two options I was faced with as a teenager looking forward to attending college:

1) Go to UCSB and pay out-of-pocket tuition without receiving any government financial assistance, or

2) Go to a community college and later transfer to a 4-year-institution

Those two options kept me up at night. Both weren’t ideal situations, but a decision had to be made. At this point, a little fire lit up inside me. This fire made me mature, it made me push myself to seek help, and it led me into what later became a hard fought victory.

The sensation of my education slipping away led me to make serious moves. I knew that how I reacted to what was happening to me would define my future. During STEP, I reached out to current students, staff, and faculty who looked trustworthy and seemed like they had a big role or influence on campus. I simply went to their office, introduced myself, told them my situation, and asked for resources — most importantly, I asked for help. (I won’t admit to how many times this involved crying.) Throwing myself out there was intimidating, but I knew it was a necessary part of my survival! Although sharing my story meant I had to be vulnerable, in the end I am glad I did it.

Reaching out and asking for help opened so many doors for me. It helped me establish a strong network on campus and these individuals supported me and watched me grow throughout my four years at UCSB. I wouldn’t have made it without the guidance and support of my EOP Counselors, Professors, therapists, the Womyn’s Center, progressive upperclassmen students who took me under their wing, and many others. What is even better is that I got the chance to fully experience what the university had to offer. Opening up led me to become part of several organizations both on and off campus. I got to experience so many firsts during college, such as student rallies, roles within University leadership, lobbying in Washington D.C., meeting UC Regents, making tons of friends who were passionate about social justice and equity. I was on fire for my education and I wasn’t going to give up on myself. Although it was not always smooth sailing to Spring 2014 when I graduated, I rolled with the punches and succeeded.

Here’s what I want my readers to leave with:

You earned your seat, ask for help, get involved, try new things, work ten times as hard as anyone else, you are a trailblazer, be grateful to those that helped you get to where you are today, and lastly, give back to your community, always!

Kenia is a first-generation college graduate, born in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico and raised in Southern California. She graduated from the University of California, Santa Barbara and holds a Bachelor’s of Arts in Political Science — International Relations. After graduating, Kenia lived in Rio de Janeiro, studying Brazilian foreign policy and backpacking through South America. She is an innovative and pragmatic team member, with experience providing administrative support in higher education and non-profit organizations that are committed to social justice. She enjoys channeling her energy into work that fosters equity, motivating others to achieve their passion and purpose, playing the drums, and exploring the outdoors.

#MyCollegeStory is a ScholarMatch original series highlighting the diverse and varied journeys to and through higher education. Check back each month for new stories!

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